I still remember what it felt like to hide behind the pallor couch and try to scribble out a few sketches on my sketchbook. I used to Sketch so fast, so I could finish before I got caught. Or those days when I prepared for exams, I would have two books on my table, one on top of the other. One was the book I was to read, and the other was my drawing book. When no one was looking, I would try to draw something, and immediately I heard footsteps, I would hide the book.
I loved to draw so much as a kid, but for some reason, I wasn’t allowed to. It was like a crime.
I was good with maths, so they felt I was wasting my time and talent drawing instead of using my maths skills to do stuff. Despite liking maths and puzzles, I still wanted to draw more than anything. I was still a kid, and I had no control over how my life was to go, so if they say you aren't allowed to draw, it was final.
I would usually watch my friends draw, just to satisfy my longing to draw. Most times I paid them to draw on my sketchbooks. I used to exchange some of my toys or even snacks for them to just draw something nice on my sketchbook. Seeing those drawing in my sketchbook gave me the feeling that I drew them.
As Time passed, I advanced higher in education. Soon I was sent to a boarding school. I was happy, they weren’t there to know when I tried to draw.
Now that I was free to draw, I couldn’t. My drawings looked too scrappy and not fun. They weren’t pleasing at all. So I decided to pay attention in my art classes, maybe I would learn a thing or two.
After attending 2 weeks of my classes and also flipping through the pages in the art class textbook, I was disappointed.
The textbook and the class never talked about drawing or anything related to such. It was all boring. I was disappointed. Since I couldn’t get what I wanted, I continued to exchange stuff for a piece of art in my sketchbook.
When I got higher in class, and had the freedom to choose the subjects I wanted to offer, I signed up for a technical drawing class. I’m happy I did. It gave me a chance to have that feeling of drawing something. This wasn’t like the junior-level fine art class where they bored you with unnecessary theory. In this class, they drew real stuff. I loved the subject so much. It made me fall in love with drawing landscapes in perspective.
I loved the subject so much that I was one mark away from winning the award for the best student in the subject. The person who beat me to it was my very good friend, a great chess player and also an excellent mathematician. I play chess very well actually. Sometimes I even beat those that he struggled to beat, but any time I play him, he beats me like a kid. I didn’t feel bad that I didn’t get the award though, because that wasn’t the goal all along. I just wanted to draw.
After I lost the award, I need to move to the next stage in academics. It was time to apply to study a professional course at the university. My technical drawing class was over, and I didn't have an excuse to draw.
At first, I wanted to apply to study architecture, since it involved some drawing. But I was advised against that. So I applied to study computer science. I don’t regret the decision.
At first, I wanted to apply to study architecture, since it involved some drawing. But I was advised against that. So I applied to study computer science.
I don't regret the decision. I'm very much happy with it.
As time went on, my academics became much more demanding, and I had fewer friends who could draw. I couldn't exchange stuff for drawings anymore.
I immersed myself in my new domain. As I got deeper into it, the urge and the yearning for drawing kept reducing. Sometimes, I would flip through my sketchbook and smile. Sometimes, I would scribble some drawings, while sometimes I would attempt to draw some technical stuff.
I started thinking about drawing less frequently. I slowly began losing my touch. My drawings began to look less impressive and I started losing confidence in them. I felt guilty.
So one day on my way to work, while in the traffic, I listened to a ted talk by Dr. Pavan Soni. The title was Seven Habits of Highly Creative People. While he was talking, the second point he made was that creative people guard their hobbies seriously. He used Albert Einstein as an example.
This example surprised me. Who would have thought that someone as great as Albert would have time for hobbies?
It made me realize that as much as I loved programming, I could also set some time to learn and improve my drawings.
After listening to the talk, I decided to learn to draw. Instead of asking people to draw for me, I would create the art myself. As a professional programmer, I have little time for other stuff, as most of my time is spent behind the keyboard.
Despite this, I was motivated, and I didn't want the motivation to vanish without me doing something. So I decided to start small. I downloaded a miniature drawing course from Instructible. I practiced every night for 30 mins after work.
The instructor said to use pens to draw instead of pencils. Using a pen meant you couldn't erase, so I learned to focus and draw what I saw. The course thought the basics of line drawing, drawing boxes and circles. Continuous drawing of boxes and circles helped me build muscle memory. They helped a lot. The course also helped to improve my eye-to-hand coordination.
After I finish the course. I was stuck, what next should I learn? I didn't know what type of art I wanted to do. So I started drawing random stuff. After months of drawing random stuff with no direction, I got bored. I decided I was going to signup for an actual art class. I would learn more and also get to meet fellow artists. This was a great idea, but there was one problem. I had to work.
I decide to go for a personal tutor instead. This would allow for a more flexible class schedule. So I talked to a friend and he connected me with a tutor.
During my first meeting with my tutor, he asked questions to know how much I knew about art and how good I was, and also some general questions about me. He said he asked those questions to see if he could help me learn what I wanted. During the conversation, I realized I knew nothing about art.
After answering most questions poorly, I made up my mind to get him as my tutor.
(I felt he was trying so had to convince him to take him as my tutor. But he didn’t need to. I wanted to that’s why I approached him.) After discussing the price and the schedules, I paid for the class on the spot.
I did it to show commitment. I wanted to send a message that despite my busy schedule I do want to learn. ( The person that introduced him to me told him about my busy schedule and how demanding my work could be, so during the conversation, he was kind of hinting that if I wasn’t serious, he wouldn’t hesitate to terminate our contract.
I feel he felt excited to teach be teaching me. And I’m also excited to learn from him.
I just hope this decision doesn’t interfere with my other life. (my life with my keyboard).
My first class is in 2 days. I don’t know what to expect, but I’m hoping for the best.
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